voice

Learning to give voice to my emotions took some time. I had to learn how to feel my emotions, sort out whether an emotion required a response, or just an acknowledgement, and them learn how to respectfully share my emotions.

Seems like a lot of hard work. At first, it really was. I'm a pretty positive person by nature, and can spend time cheering others on, but I had been struggling with how to be my own cheerleader. I had a voice when writing for the newspaper, and a voice at work, but not so much of a voice at home anymore. I had to do some un-learning of bad emotional choices and them learn some better ways to handle my emotional responses. I also had to learn a lot deeper trusting of God than I had been practicing.

When you are unsure how to voice your emotions, you need to stop and take a few minutes to pray - okay, some times you only get a few seconds, but you still need to pray about it - ask God how you are supposed to voice your needs, boundaries, and desires. Some days I did better than others, but I am learning to keep trying and not give up.

It can be hard work to be honest with ourselves. Some of my friends journal, I spend time praying, walking through the woods and talking to God, or typing something out on my laptop. On rare occasions I have written something particularly difficult out on paper and them sent it through the shredder.

Do not be afraid to use your voice. Respectfully and firmly let others know what your emotional health boundaries are, and that they may NOT cross them. Self-care is not selfishness. That might be the hardest lesson for moms to learn.