Will you or won't you homeschool this year?

*affiliate links are used in this post*

I am not going to lie - you have a HUGE decision ahead of you in the next couple of weeks. What are you going to choose for your children's education for this semester? There is so much uncertainty out there about if in-person classes will happen at local schools, will parents be able to continue e-learning and still keep their jobs, and how will you balance it all?

There are choices, but there is also help! If you want to try homeschooling your children this fall, I'm going to cheer you on, point you to helpful resources, and try to answer as many of your questions as I can. If you choose e-learning - I'm going to cheer you on and support you as best as I can. If you send your children to class - I'm going to cheer you on, pray for their health and safety, and try to hold you up as you balance all those deadlines. Whichever option you choose: I support you!

I know homeschooling is not for everyone. It was tough, but we found it worth the effort. I worked anywhere from 15-35 hours outside of the home the entire 16 years we homeschooled our girls. And by saying "we homeschooled" I'm, really saying "I homeschooled" while Kurt went to work 40 or more hours a week to make sure we could pay the bills, and then made sure no one burned the house down while I slept on the weekends. ;)

If you are considering homeschooling, or wondering if e-learning will be enough, I encourage you to check out your options. There are full curriculums in a box you can purchase, or you can use an online resource like SchoolhouseTeachers.com that offers either full curriculum or single subject choices all for one price per family. If you love printed books, look to purchase as many of them as possible as used copies to save you some money. Many (most) homeschooling families sell their curriculum at a significant discount once they are finished with it. We always preferred printed math books, so I would budget to purchase them, then sell the teacher's books and DVD's to other homeschoolers once both girls were finished. A savings to the new owners, and a little cash to put towards the next year's books for us - a win-win! We used SchoolhouseTeachers to fill in the gaps between our printed resources, but I know many families use it exclusively.

Want to know more about how we homeschooled? There are dozens of posts here in the blog archives that you can read. Lots about field trips, many about different curriculum we used over the years, quite a few about being different than everybody else - and how that is perfectly okay, and most importantly, some timely posts about God's faithfulness to help us through both the good and bad times. God gave you those precious children for a reason - it is important that you find out why that is!

If you ARE considering homeschooling, but not quite sure where to start with curriculum, I suggest a family membership to SchoolhouseTeachers.com. If you are certain you're going to homeschool, you can get their once-a-year Shark sale special of $179 for two years for the entire family. That works out to less than $8/month for two full years of curriculum for all grades. Use coupon code: SHARK20 - this offer is non-refundable. 

If you're still sitting on the fence about homeschooling, why not try the quarterly payment of $49.97 for all grades, or only $37.97 for PreK-8th grade? One of the best features of SchoolhouseTeachers is that it has helps for parents, streaming videos and world book access for families, and a truly helpful "Start Here" section.

Not sure homeschooling is really legal? It is - in ALL 50 states and Washington, D.C. You can do a quick web search for the requirements for your specific state in less than five minutes. That gives you a great perspective on what will be needed both to get started, and to follow through with homeschooling. 

And because I know your next question might be this one: what do I need to buy? I want to point you back to this ever popular post of ours about school supply lists for homeschoolers. 

Check it out, ask questions, and know I'll stand by you whatever educational option you choose for your children for this fall!

Emotions

Our emotions are tricky things aren't they? One minute we're up, happy, moving forward, and then something happens and we're sad, stopped, leaning over the chasm of depression and wondering if we will fall in. Have you been on that roller coaster recently? I surely have.

While it is possible to shut ourselves off from our emotional responses, build walls and keep other people at arm's length, that is NOT healthy. We need the ups and downs of our emotions to feel alive. We need the hope of turning our emotional burdens over to God to give us a way forward when we are feeling overwhelmed. 

Life isn't easy. Life is not always joy, rainbows, and unicorns. But life is precious, and we only have one chance to live it. I don't have all the answers to your struggles, but I know the God who does. I don't have all the answers to my own struggles, but Jesus promised that when I come to Him He will take my burdens and give me rest. He offers that same rest to you.

Whether you are laughing or crying, raging at the world or hiding under a blanket, God still sees you. He still offers His love and peace. He is holding out rest for your weary soul. Accept His gift.

I'll be praying for you.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!


I know some of you are having a terrific day, and others are so disappointed or mad that they want to cry. Mother's Day runs the gamut from over the top joy and love to the depths of despair and sorrow. All of those options are on the table today. If you need to cry, go ahead and do it. If you want to dance and sing, that's okay too. 

After 22 years of motherhood I think I've lived all the possible options for the best and worst of attitudes and occurrences on Mother's Day. May I offer a suggestion? Stop being so hard on yourself, and your family. Motherhood is really hard, and vitally important. We will all have our up days, and those filled with struggles. Some days are a glorious struggle filled with laughter and smiles at the end. Other days seem like they'll never end and are full of heartache.

God gave you those precious children for a reason. More than one reason actually. You are to teach them about God and Jesus' love and sacrifice. They are there to refine you and teach you about sacrifice and finding strength in God alone. 

Mother's Day will be hard for a lot of people this year, what with travel restrictions, quarantines, and social distancing. Take time today to think about the blessing you have. Focus on the good you've found in motherhood. If you need some time alone today, take it. If your family makes a mess, leave it for tomorrow. 

Today, work through whatever you need to with God's help. While today may not start out happy, you can find joy in God's presence, and peace. Go to Him and find strength for this really awesome, yet really tough job of motherhood. 

Consider yourself hugged Mama!
You are loved.

time for reflection

Taking time for reflection or introspection is hard work. Some of my friends journal every day, others - not at all. I fall somewhere in the middle. Whether we think, pray, meditate, draw, create, journal or do something else entirely, we need to set aside time to reflect - and then adjust our lives if needed - regularly.

A few weeks ago our pastor said something like this: ‘don’t think you have to be broken to go to counseling, we all need counseling.’ I’ll add on that we are all in some measure cracked, broken, or unsure. Maybe you won’t feel compelled to go see a pastor or counsellor after your self-reflection time, but might you seek out a trusted friend and talk things through? We are meant to live in community, not in isolation. Is anyone else missing their in-person community during this time of social distancing to try to slow the speed of the corona virus, or is it just me?

A few days ago I spent about an hour on the phone with a good friend. We were talking about the struggle to find a new normal, a routine of sorts to structure our days and weeks since our normal activities have been cancelled, postponed, or moved online. Our church has been really good about having regular facebook live events in addition to streaming our weekly services. This is helpful, but I miss seeing people and interacting face to face. I miss the presence of other people.

Have you encountered something similar? A struggle to find your rhythm? I think that’s okay - even expected right now. Some days I wake up energized, ready to clean a closet or go outside and work in my garden. Other days I just want to curl up alone, with a book or a movie. My moods and aspirations change often. Your probably do too.

I am grounded through all of this by the knowledge that the same God who carried my grandparents through the 1918 influenza epidemic and the Great Depression is still here guiding me today.

When we take time to reflect, we find different challenges on different levels. Some days all your reflection may prompt you to do is wash a load of laundry or bake some cookies. Other days you will dig deeper. Like when I got to 1 Corinthians 13 in my Bible reading earlier this month. I don’t want to be a noisy gong, be nothing, or gain nothing. That prompted me to take a deeper look at all the times recently when i have not been loving towards my family. I’ve been feeling a little off-centered since then. Good thing I’m a lump of clay that the Master Potter can re-center.

If you’re feeling a little off-balance too, I encourage you to go to God and ask Hi to help you too.

Life is too short to not live it. Spend a little time reflecting on where you are today. Then ask God where He wants you to be.

After

What happens after?

After a movie is over

After a workday is completed

After a child graduates

After a change in careers

After a closed door

After a rejection letter

After a frustrating conversation

After an afternoon of sunshine 

After Spring arrives and flowers bloom

______________

Is it wrong to be content where you are?

Do other people misunderstand or underestimate you?

Is life filled with confusion?

_______________

Do you know you are loved by God?

You are valuable, you are loved, you are a child of God.

What happens after is sometimes good and gentle and kind. At other times the thing that happens after is filled with hurt and confusion. 

We live our lives in a constant state of befores and afters. We choose how to respond to each change, each question, each questioning by others.

We can choose to accept that we are loved by God, or we can choose to reject this truth.

Can I change the world? Maybe not.

Can I change my corner of the world with His love? Definitely!

Plan

When you were younger, did you have a plan for your life?

How did that work out for you? Is life following your plan, or does God have a better plan for you?

I know life can be so difficult at times. I was thinking earlier today about how many people meet God during a mountaintop experience. I don't really know what that is like. God has always met me in the valleys of trials and refining. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating. 

Life gets complicated, and while it might be nice to have a mountaintop experience with God, I am so thankful for all those valleys He has led me through. I feel like I'm standing at another juncture. Do I go right or left? This valley or that one?

God has a plan, I'm asking Him to reveal it to me, one step at a time. Trying to make my own plan is hard. Trusting God's plan is easier. If you're also at a juncture - let me encourage you to seek God's face. Ask Him for direction - to light up the next step so you can take it. Then ask Him for grace to accept whatever happens in that shift in your life.

My plans are small. God's plans are huge. I'm glad to be a small part of a huge plan. How about you?

Daily dose of nature

Hello!

If you've been wondering where I've been, the answer is: outside! I know, it's January, and I live in Indiana, so it is sometimes a real challenge, but I've been making an intentional effort to get outside more this winter.

I've been posting some of the pictures from my adventures on Instagram, using the hashtag #dailydoseofnature 

I've also been writing, but, obviously, not all for here on the blog, or you would have seen more posts -LOL! I'm working on a book, and keeping my other writing commitments.

AND...

We have been purging the house. It might not look like it yet, but we have a goal in mind to reach before spring arrives, so the girls and I have been working on one small area at a time around our other commitments.

There had definitely been a shift in the dynamics around here since Arlene started college last fall, and all four of us have felt it. It might be the hardest on my husband, because everyone has different schedules now. With four working adults in the home, it is taking us all a while to get used to the changes in meals, chores, and availability.

So how do we navigate changes in our lives? Because I am here to tell you that the seasons you went through while your children were growing up are vastly different from the other side once they've all graduated high school. Do you have plan yet? If not, may I suggest one?

Trust God.

Two words that should sum up our lives here on earth, and yet, how often we stray from this simple plan. It is simple to say, and harder to do. Trusting God requires us to let go of our perceived control on our lives and allow Him to direct our paths. 

Last week at Ladies' Bible study I commented about how God only lights our next few steps, and it is a good thing. We cannot know how He will move, prune, and refine us too far into the future or we would walk away from it. We would see that the testing will be hard and reject it, because we cannot understand the huge amounts of grace and beauty He is going to bestow upon our lives in the process. We are temporal focused, He always has an eternal focus. These hard days and nights truly are light and momentary troubles - but they sure don't feel that way when we are in the midst of them!

If our focus can be returned again and again to trusting God then we can truly rest. Not rest from living life, but rest from striving. Rest from competing, rest from worry, rest and not fear. 

Would you like to find rest for your war-weary soul? Trust God.

Would you like to find rest from financial anxieties, or marital strife? Trust God.

Would you like to be kind and loving towards others instead of bitter and cynical? Trust God.

Maturity doesn't happen at a particular age, it happens when we trust God. Each time you choose to trust God instead of striving, competing, complaining, or fighting, you will mature.

God is in the business of fresh starts. He is in the business of Love, forgiveness, and grace. He brings beauty from ashes and life from death.

When I take my daily nature walks I am looking for ways that He shows me beauty, grace, and life. I spend a lot of the time praying for friends. I want to encourage you to do the same: pray for your friends, look for beauty, grace, and life.

Even if life has knocked you down, God wants you to get back up - trust Him!

In the words of TobyMac:

You may be knocked down, but not out forever.

enjoy

This is the last post from the 31 days of October five minute free writes. I know, it's a week late, but better late than never. I'm also not going to time this one...

One of the keys to better emotional health is learning to live your own life, and not someone else's life. This also means learning how to set boundaries so that you can effectively communicate with the people in your life. This leads to being able to have discussions about what should and should not be a part of your life. 

I cannot keep my integrity in my own life, if I allow others to dictate what they think my life should look like. It has been a long year of discovery, but I know I am on the right track. I've never been much of a journal writer, but one of my friends said that's sort of what my blog is like. To a point, yes. There are things I will not share here that might or might not go in a journal. Life is to be cherished, and that also means protecting those I love by not over-sharing here.


Today's word is enjoy.

Sounds safe enough. Here is a list, in no particular order, of things I enjoy.

A mug of good-quality hot chocolate on a cold day

Brisk walks through the autumn leaves.

A medium-well ribeye steak - oh yum!

Belonging in a small group of friends

writing

Photography, especially of nature

long walks on warm sand at the beach

quiet time by myself

flowers

more flowers

a spring walk through the woods looking for the first shoots of edible plants and the early rosettes of wildflowers

a baked potato with butter and sour cream

Listening to someone sing

Christmas - all of the lights, songs, snowflakes, and celebrating the birth of Jesus

creating art - especially with pastels, or flowers

The empty pages of a new calendar or notebook

walking hand in hand with my husband or our daughters

watching a football game

spending time with wool - dyeing, spinning, creating

Dinners with friends

long conversations and catching up chats

a real leather belt and a solid pair of boots

being warm, not being cold

eating fruits and vegetables

colored pens 

When God speaks to me through His Word

a good hug

watching the sunset

a good night's sleep

a warm blanket on a cold day

flannel sheets

Christmas Carols

helping other find joy

wearing my favorite pair of jeans

my new heated vest on a cold evening

the hush of snow

birdwatching with my husband

watching fish swim in an aquarium

target practice

making books - cutting pages and sewing covers

pumpkin pie with whipped cream 

watching a good movie with my girls

picking and arranging flowers

traveling

coming home again

the scent of lilacs

a bonfire, with s'mores

sitting by the shore of the lake, or on the beach, and hearing the waves break



What do you enjoy?

memory

What are your favorite memories?

One of mine is from our family trip out West when I was in middle school. We were staying a few days in Yellowstone, and I remember standing on the boardwalk and watching Old Faithful erupt. 

Another one is from my early childhood, like right before I turned three - and we were visiting our soon-to-be-finished house. I could sit on the floor and look out the window in the living room - it was amazing! I was little and those windows were big.

It is important that we hold on to the good memories. Some days we will be overcome by the memories of things that went wrong. If you remember the good memories they can help you get through those tougher days.

Cherish your life. Appreciate your friends. Love your family - even the ones that drive you crazy. 

You are making memories today - focus on the good that is happening around you. 

practice

It takes practice to learn how to sort through your emotions. We see so many people around us each day, and I bet we often think "wow, they don't have a very good handle on their emotions." I wonder how many people have thought that about me in the past?

So what can I do? Stop, think, sort, and try again when I fail. I also need to focus more on offering grace and less on how I think about others are behaving. This trip towards better emotional health is about me getting myself better, not about trying to fix others. There will always be struggles around me, but I am working on having less of those intense struggles within myself.

I can practice being gracious and kind. I can practice speaking the truth in love. I can practice sharing the love of Christ with those around me. I won't get it all right today, tomorrow, or next week - but I can take steps towards where I know I want to be, and where God wants me to be. 

Life is a journey, and I am taking the creative route to get there - it may not be the fastest route, but I hope it can be a joy-filled one.

test

If a test was offered to measure how emotionally healthy you are, would you take it?

What if that test brought to light things you'd been trying to hide? What if it showed you were the one with the problem and not someone else? Would you still be willing to take the test?

Let's be honest with ourselves and think about life as a daily test of our emotional health, and thus, how deeply we can delve in our walk with Christ. If our emotional health is a wreck, we cannot move forward as God wants us to. We have to fess up to our own mistakes, and then ask for help.

Maybe your life hasn't turned out how you imagined it... mine surely has not, and yet, when I came to the realization that I would not have that storybook ending, I became emotionally healthier. There are good and bad parts of marriage, of parenting, and of being a boss or an employee. When we admit that our lives, our crazy, messy, hopefully joy-filled lives, are not going to look like a movie from The Hallmark Channel then we can embrace where we are, and look to Jesus to help us move forward.

Life is more than the pictures you see on someone's social media pages, it is real, messy, and can be wonderful even in the midst of a storm. That's what happens when God takes the test for you!

better

Getting to better emotional health takes time, but it is worth the journey. At several points along the way you should experience a greater peace that was missing before.

I have learned to set boundaries, and how to say no more effectively. I also now realize that sometimes I set goals for myself that are unrealistic, and that is where I not only need to re-evaluate those goals, I need to offer myself a big ole' heap of grace!

When I said 'yes' to writing for 31 days in October, I really didn't think through how much I should prep ahead of time. That's why recently there have been sets of days where I didn't get anything posted, and then I work hard to get caught up, or at least close.

It is important to me to finish out the 31 prompts, but I'm not making any promises it will happen by the 31st. That's offering myself grace. I want to finish on time, but knowing that I will be working, and doing other activities along the way this week means being realistic.

What can you learn to be better at? I'm learning to be better at offering myself that same grace I extend to others.

accept

How can we learn to accept the situations around us that cause us pain, or that challenge our resolve to be loving and kind? 

Does accepting my current situation equal contentment? No. Contentment is deeper that acceptance. I can accept that some people will never change, that I may or may not get a promotion, or that it will rain next Wednesday. But that doesn't mean I am content with them.

Contentment is so much deeper than acceptance. It has to do with the giving up of ourselves and entrusting our present and our future to the Father who wants the best for us. That requires sacrifice. Can I truly trust that God knows what is best for my life, what will bring Him the most glory? Oh - that's a hard one to swallow some days. 

I want to walk this journey with a confidence that the same God who raised Jesus from the dead can raise me out of my grave as well. Can I turn my eyes away from the things of the world and keep them on Jesus? Oh Lord, I believe, help me overcome my unbelief!

I will accept the things I cannot change, but more importantly, I will keep on learning how to be content, safe in the presence of God, and living in newness of life.

wait

Oh! How hard it can be to wait.

Wait for dinner, wait for a job, wait for God to answer your prayers...

Are you being changed during the waiting, or are you stuck in limbo - doing nothing?

Earlier this year, when our church was focused on better emotional health and how finding that frees us to pursue God and live a life filled with peace, joy, and purpose, our pastor gave a sermon about waiting. What happens during the waiting? Is God stretching your faith? Are you growing to trust Him more? Or are you simply pushing the pause button on your life?

Life is too precious to waste the waiting time!

As I wait for Him to reveal if this is the answer He has for me, I will continue to grow, I will learn to trust, and I will open my hands joyfully for Him to fill them with peace.

different

Oh, to be different!

That has been my goal for so long I cannot remember when it started. It might have been tempting to be popular, but I really wanted to be different. It was not because I found fault with how others were living or dressing, it was because the creative bent inside of me longed to be free.

I wanted to be different. I did not fit any normal mold growing up. I still do not. Thankfully I have a few close friends who love me and all of my quirks!

Do you long to be different?

Not only do I want my life to look different, I want my soul to be different. I believe God does not want me to live an ordinary life. Rather, He desires for me to live an extraordinary life! I am still on that journey to find out what that entails...

The statistics are ordinary: I am married and we have two children. We both work, and occasionally, we save enough to go on vacation. From the outside my life might look boring - but it rarely is!

I see the beauty in the little details - that's thanks to my artist dad. I see patterns in nature and numbers - that's thanks to my mathematician mom. I can choose to meet every deadline, or ignore them all depending on which part of my quirky self is taking charge that day. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all that goes on in my brain and need to take a break.

It's okay to be different. Being different leads to extraordinary things!

need

What to we really need?

As children we are taught that we need: air, water, food, shelter, and clothing. But is that enough? While these things may sustain our physical bodies, we are more than just bodies, we have souls, we have emotions, we have an innate need to be loved.

Too often we think about what our children need in the physical sense, but forget what they need for emotional health. As adults, we often struggle to show and receive love because we did not receive it (well or at all) as a child. Now, I have the best mom ever - but there were times when I needed her to love me in a new or different way, but I did not know how to express that need. Today I have young adult daughters. How might they need me to love them differently than when they were 5, or even when they were 15?

Our needs change, because we change. One need remains, the need to be loved - because being loved means we belong. Everyone wants to be loved. 

Don't just yearn to belong somewhere, find a way to express your need to be loved, and find those people who will accept you and love you. 

God loves each and every one of us. It is up to us to accept that love and choose to belong to Him.

sense

When you get a sense of who you want to be, or what you need to work on in your life, what do you do as your first step towards that change?

I've realized that I need to spend a lot more time in prayer about things I want to change before I actually start changing them. It's not shoot, aim, adjust, shoot - it should be aim, adjust, then fire.

So what am I praying for or about? I need to seek God's wisdom on the parts of my life, both physical and emotional where I want to see change. Instead of jumping headfirst without looking into a change, I want to be grounded in His love, seated in His presence so that I can hear when He tells me yes or no, and which way to proceed. 

There is a verse in Isaiah that I have always cherished. Even in the midst of adversity and pain, God was promising to be with the Israelites:

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." ~Isaiah 30:21


In order to hear that voice I have to be listening. If you're ready to change things in your life, get alone with God, be still, and wait until His voice tells you to turn to the right or the left.

person

I was not the person I wanted to be.

That was my first realization about needing to address my emotional health. Not only was I simply too busy in terms of number of activities, I was staying too busy as a coping mechanism for not dealing with tough emotions.

Something had to change, and thankfully, it was me.

I have set some boundaries, and I am no longer afraid to say no to something that sounds good in order to have time and strength for something even better.

So who do I want to be? That is the 40 million dollar question! I want to be a follower of Jesus Christ, and I want my love of God to be evident in the way I treat all other people with respect and kindness - even, and especially, those who do not treat me with respect or kindness. 

I know that God has something important for me to do - but it may not look important to you - and I'm okay with that. My husband and I often disagree - that doesn't mean I've stopped caring for him, stopped loving him - it just means we disagree.

Part of this journey to emotional health was me learning that it is okay to disagree, and to speak my mind - as long as I did it clearly and respectfully. So no, you and I may not agree on the best color of paint, whose political candidate would do the most good, or what to eat for dinner - but we can do that with grace and respect. Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if more people learned those skills?!?

This person I'm becoming, that God is making me into, is different than I was before - and I like her!

What kind of person are you becoming?

tell

Five minutes to tell you something worth reading...

We tell our stories to others to share a bit of where we've been, and sometimes, a part of where we want to be going. I'm sharing about better emotional health here this month because as I sit back and look at how much work God has done in me this year I realize that there are probably plenty of other people out there who are sitting in a dangerous rut of poor emotional health. Are you one of them?

If you are afraid to talk about your true emotions, then yes, you're one of them. If you hide your emotions to keep the peace between people, but the peace is not happening inside of you, you're one of them too. We were created to be people in fellowship with others. We cannot love each other as Christ loved us if we don't share life - and life includes emotions.

Are there situations you keep to yourself, but share with close friends? Good, that's as it should be. Not every emotion you feel needs shared with the crowd, but you do need to sort through them all. Find a friend, a sister, even a therapist if needed. Even if someone else in your life won't get help, don't let it stop you from getting the help you need to move to better emotional health.

Five minutes. Life is short - live it well!