Thursday, March 22, 2018

How to Be a Friend Through the Chaos ~ Guest post by Kimberly Dewberry

Today we welcome Kimberly Dewberry who graciously wrote this guest post. 
I asked Kimberly if she would share from her heart about how to be a true friend in challenging times. 
Be encouraged! 
Carol :)

Christian Friendship, challenging times, Encouragement

I have a friend in my life I can turn to no matter what I am struggling with. She is there for me to spout my anger to, cry on her shoulder, and share laughter. It is so important to have that one person in your life that you know in the core of your being would—drive through pouring down rain, over thirty miles, at midnight—just to be there for you because you are hurting.
So how do you know if you are being that friend in the midst of your friend’s chaotic moments of life? We all have them. Those times when your nerve endings are on fire and you are about to pull your hair out. Those times when your husband has betrayed you or your children are going down a path of destruction and there is nothing you can do.
God addresses this topic in several places of the Bible. Here are a few that help guide us in being that friend that will help through the chaos.


“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 CSB. In this passage, Paul is addressing the church of Thessalonica. Paul wrote this letter out of his concern for the new believers and the paths some of them were going down. Paul was emphasizing the importance of encouragement of each other. Some of the Thessalonians were being attacked spiritually by Satan and as a result, their friendships with one another were strained. I believe God is telling us if our friends come to us with a great need, we are to encourage them and build them up with Scripture. Point them back to what the Word says regarding whatever they are facing in the middle of their storm. Let your friend know she is being prayed for. I don’t know about you, but when I know I have people praying for me, I feel loved.

Christian Friendship, challenging times, Encouragement


“Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.” - Proverbs 27:9 CSB. Sometimes all we really need is kindness from a friend. There is a time and place for truth in love, but depending on the wound your friend may already have, maybe just mere kind words is all she needs in that moment. Then again, maybe its just a listening ear. Hearing and listening are often confused. Effective listening starts with undivided attention, has no words in between, and often ends with a good cry. This can be the deepest form of kindness to a friend in need.


“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 CSB. I have many friends, but only one in my life right now I would call a companion. I don’t see her every day, but I don’t have to. I know she is only a phone call away and she knows the same thing. This is the companionship the author of Ecclesiastes is speaking of. When one falls, the other lifts her up. I view this as both literal and figurative lifting up. As I mentioned before, lifting up prayer for your friend in need can be the most powerful and impactful thing that can be done. The power of prayer is undeniable. God moves mountains at the mere sound of His voice. He pulled David from the den of lions by divine protection. He is powerful and when we pray, those prayers are heard.

Just like marriage, friendship also comes with its challenges. We are busy people and we cannot be everything to everyone, BUT it is important to have that one friend and BE that one friend. The one who can encourage, show kindness, and be a companion for life.

As Jesus said, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.” - Matthew 18:20

transforming normal blog, Christian Friendship, challenging times, Encouragement

Kimberly Dewberry struggled for 25 years to cope with the pain, hurt, guilt, regret, unworthiness, and shame caused by her addicted father. As her life devolved into a predictable pattern of poor choices caused by the dysfunctional thinking of an alcoholic household, Kimberly’s image of God was skewed with an inner turmoil that only he could heal. Through the loving grace of Jesus Christ, she has broken free from the shackles of rebellion and anger and has made it her life’s mission to openly share her journey through courageous prose. Her heart’s desire is to help other adult children of alcoholics identify and overcome unhealthy cycles of destructive living that the spectre of alcoholism leaves behind. Kimberly often speaks at recovery meetings about how the serenity and peace of God’s redemption are keys to personal wholeness. She also shares biblical insights to everyday problems through her blog, Transforming Normal. Kimberly has two grown children. She and her husband Patrick live in the Dallas area with their two furry friends. Kimberly enjoys writing, reading, Bible art journaling, participating in Bible studies, and dating her husband.

Connect with Kimberly

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