Reflection

It is January 2020, a time when many people will set aside time to reflect on last year, and set goals for the new one ahead.

Reflections, like the graphic above, are imperfect. 

I made the graphic in two minutes on PicMonkey. If I had wanted it to be perfect, I could have spent 25 minutes with a high-tech Adobe program that actually has mirroring as an option. I point this out because too many of us will take five or ten minutes to reflect on last year and get an imperfect report on what happened in 2019. Then we'll stop thinking and reflecting because we won't like what we see.

If you take time to reflect this January, I challenge you to actually take time: an hour, then another, maybe even a couple of afternoons to really think back on where you have been, what God has accomplished, and how you have grown.

I've been using a set of questions to help me reflect on what happened in 2019, before I set goals for 2020. It has been hard work. There was a question this afternoon that I struggled with. It said "those who love me call me____." I wasn't sure how others describe me, so I went and asked my girls. One said "mom." Ugh - that was no help at all. I appreciated that she still wants to spend time with me as her mom, but I needed something more. I asked the other girl...she was more descriptive, and that gave me something to work from. Friends call me creative. My friend's husband calls me Stupid-smart. I know he means it as a compliment. I get it. I'm not the normal mom, not a normal wife, not a normal co-worker. 

So where does this all lead me? Back to the foot of the cross. I find my acceptance and worth in what Jesus has done for me, not in what I've done for the world. You see, the world says I'm under qualified. It repeatedly tells me that I don't have a college degree, and thus, am not enough. But I have become wise to the ways the world tries to pull us down. Jesus has said that I am more than qualified, because of Him, because I'm not doing ANY of this life without HIS wisdom and strength. 

I'm going to circle back around to that first response my daughter gave "mom." For 22 years I have loved, planned, corrected, project managed, taught, refined, budgeted, written, erased, build, dug deep, refocused, travelled, stayed put, withstood storms, and filled life with joy. At the foot of the cross I am more than qualified to do WHATEVER God calls me to for 2020 and beyond. 

I bet you are too!

So now, feel free to do some reflecting of your own. Think about 2019, it's challenges and joys, and look forward to 2020, knowing that God will equip you with all you need and more. 

My goal is to reflect the light of Jesus to all those around me, whether they're expecting it or not. 

May your 2020 be filled with peace, joy, purpose, and most of all: Jesus!

Love - word of the year end of summer update

I had planned to do a post that was a summer update about how things are going with my word of the year... but since Fall starts on Saturday, let's just call this an End-of-summer update. 

Love

Songs are sung, poems are written, and it seems everyone has a different definition for what love is or is not. I'll go back to DC Talk's words: "love is a verb." Jesus Christ was love incarnate. The example for each of us to follow about putting others before ourselves. To love someone, we must think of their needs before our own. Oh, as a mom you get lots of opportunities to practice loving your children, but sometimes it is done as a "need to" not a "want to." 

Can it really be called love if we don't want to do it? I say yes because love is making the choice to do the right thing even when, especially when, it contradicts what our selfish natures want. That's the thing about being a Christian - we are not made perfect when we accept Christ. We are viewed as forgiven, clean, because of Jesus' death and resurrection when we accept Him, but the refining process to make us more like Him is a life-long one. 

So how has this word for the year been working in my life recently? Hmm...

God has been giving me a lot of opportunities recently to sit and listen to others share what is on their hearts. It has been good for me to work on listening, hopefully without interrupting, and hearing not only what people are saying, but what is left unsaid. Sometimes it is the unsaid areas where we need the most prayer and encouragement. 

God has used this summer to stretch me and refine me. Sometimes its not been too bad, other days I'm thankful that the Bible reminds us that these are light and momentary troubles. Because some days they seem heavy and long-lasting. Then something happens and we more clearly see Jesus' face and are reminded that they are momentary trials designed to make us more like Christ.

I was given a lot of blessings this summer. God has lavished opportunities upon me that I did not foresee, but am truly thankful for. He has given me the chance to put my faith into action, and He is showing me the daily working of the Holy Spirit in my life. At times it has been almost overwhelming to think that anyone would love me enough to provide all of these blessings - but then I am reminded that he is my Father, and He knows how to give good gifts!

There have been a lot of opportunities to spend time with our girls, and continue to tie heart-strings. These are moments I will always cherish! I've had a peace that only God can provide, and plenty of opportunities to rejoice. There have been tough days too, but less of those recently, for which I am also thankful!

What will this fall hold? Probably more change, but also more opportunities to choose to love those around me. That will let me love people like God has loved me this summer.

For that opportunity - I will rejoice!

Love ~ January Update

I was asked if I would give some updates during the year about how God is working out my word for 2018 in my life. This is the first one - a January update. I really do not know how often I will post these, as He leads me, but here is the first one. :)

Love requires action, as love is action - action on behalf of someone else. It is find and dandy to say we will love selflessly, but it is a much harder walk to actually live selflessly - long term. We have all had experiences where we acted selflessly - letting someone cut in line, or have the last piece of chocolate cake, but to live selflessly is a real challenge to our inner selves, because we are, by nature, selfish.

January has given me many opportunities to love, and many times I have failed. On other occasions I have succeeded, but only by God's grace. Let me tell you just a little about how this month has gone. First Kurt, and then Arlene, each had the nasty cold that is circulating this winter. I'm sure you're encountered it. It makes their heads ache, their noses run, and they cough as though they want to rid themselves of a lung or two. Thankfully - it was not the flu. This gave me 10 or 11 days of taking care of sick ones, while still going to work, cooking food (because my trusty assistant was sick) and doing chores for other people because they were too ill to do them themselves. On some of these days I had compassion and love, and on others, I could not wait to get out the door for work and leave Emily to deal with it. Sorry Em!

At the beginning of the year, God prompted me to read Charles Sheldon's book In His Steps again. This fictional novel written in 1896 is well known as being "that book against liquor," but is also known because of the question it asks: What would Jesus do? In his book, Sheldon tasks his characters with asking in every instance, what would Jesus do if He were in my situation, and then will I choose to do it, or to turn my back on God's calling and follow my own selfish ways? Although the town of Raymond and the story is fictional, it reminds me every time I read it, that it matters not what others think I should do in a situation I face, but what God wants me to do. How do I walk in the steps of Jesus? How can I be obedient?

At the same time, our pastor has been having a series about turning our focus from what we do for God, to how we become more like God. How do we change our focus from accomplishing tasks to becoming more like Christ?

Are you seeing a theme here? Yeah, me too. 

God has constantly reminded me this month that regardless of what I face, He is here, and He wants me to be obedient to His calling. I am not left here on this earth to make lots of friends and enjoy a lush lifestyle, I was placed here to do God's work by becoming more like Jesus so that others could see His work in my life and want to know more about how Jesus has changed me.

Oh the challenges I have faced this month! Most of them are not ones you would see from the outside. Rather, they are the inner struggles to choose to be selfless in the face of another person's anger, to be selfless in the face of heart pain, mental anguish, unkind words, bad drivers. Will I choose to love those around me even when they are trying their hardest to be un-loveable? I can, I must, for nothing less will transform me in who God is calling me to be. Will I stop complaining about the cold, the lack of help around the house, or my desire to run off somewhere and write instead of helping a child with their schoolwork? I truly hope so.

I don't think my life this month had been any more difficult than in the past, I think it is because I am paying attention to the Spiritual warfare going on all around me that I have felt the struggle so much more deeply. Has my pride been hurt? Yes. But since my pride always stands in the way of becoming more Christ-like, it needs that trampling. I cannot want my way more than God's way. If I truly desire to want to be obedient, then God can transform my desires to match His. I will no longer be conformed to the world. Oh how clearly I see my need of that transformation!

You see, this world comes at us from all sides. Our Enemy is crafty and knows our weaknesses. Our only hope in in Jesus. We must draw near to God to be able to resist the devil. We need to be in prayer more than we are on our phones. We need to choose to speak love in the face of trails. We must choose to love those around us, on their good days, and especially when they have bad days. For each of us is facing a trial of some kind. My heart is not the only one that was bruised this month by someone else's unkind words. Too often I forget that each member of my family has their own cross to bear. While I must carry my own cross, it is imperative that I do not make theirs any heavier than it already is!

So yes, as I expected, this word Love is a difficult one to live out. What I did not expect was how much peace God has poured out upon me when I have been obedient and walked in His steps. The future is never certain, that is why the early believers were cautioned to say 'If God wills we will go here and do this' see James 4:13-15

Another thing I have learned this month, is that I am often the one with the wrong ideas, and the wrong intent. While God has given me a peace about the future that I have never had before, He had also chastised me when I am wrong. There is a definite check in my spirit when I have chosen the way that is not love. It is like a bit in a horse's mouth that jerks me back and gets my attention. It is most unpleasant and requires a lot of soul searching to figure out where I went wrong and where God wanted me to go instead.

In and through it all I have this confidence: that nothing can separate me from God's love. Romans 8:31-39 For this I am oh so thankful! I know full well that I cannot love on my own. Not the selfless, actionable love that God wants me to have for others. And yet, He reminds me over and over again that what is impossible with man, is possible with God! Luke 18:27

How about you? What has God done this month to transform your life? How is He challenging you to follow in the steps of Jesus?

Looking for more good reading? Check out the Friday link-up on the Homeschool Review Crew

My word of the year for 2018

Do you choose a word of the year? I have not before. Too often I have thought that choosing a word of the year meant that I was trying to tell God what to do with my life, instead of focusing on what He wanted fro me that year. While I did not think it wrong for others to choose a word for the year - it just never worked for me. Instead - I tend to look back at the end of the year and think about what word or words summed up what God had shown me that year. If you read my post on Monday about reflecting on 2017, you will remember that last year was summed up by the words change and hope.

Why is this year different? Why did I choose a word for the year? Well, there are a lot of reasons why it is different, and I'll try to explain a couple of them, and I didn't choose my word for this year - God did. I wanted my word for 2018 to be hope, but God told me differently. He said that was last year's theme, and I needed to trust that He could work out my word to focus on in 2018.

Back to why is this year different...

2017 was a year of trial by fire. So many changes - some of them good, others quite painful. My heart was broken when my friend Sharra died. Not because I cried for her - I knew exactly what would happen when she breathed her last breath: she would hear God say "Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Master." On the very first day her husband told me she had been diagnosed with cancer, I knew her end would be one filled with joy - for God had numbered her temporal days, and however many He gave to her would be according to His perfect timing. My heart was broken for myself, and for her family, and her other close friends. Sharra was a woman who shone brightly the love and acceptance found only in Christ. I knew I would miss her encouragement, and her smile. I did, and I still do.

Through all of this, God reminded me of the other friends I have in my life, and how they were His hands and feet - how they comforted me through tough times. What a gift a true friend is!

2017 was also a tough year because God reminded me again and again that I had to choose to accept the gift of marriage He had given to Kurt and me. I had to choose to put others first in my life, even while I was grieving. I had to be able to put enough of my emotions into words to communicate to my family, and especially my husband, how much my heart was hurting, and that just because I was not happy about life right now did not mean I was unhappy with them.

This past year was filled with a renewed conviction that God had things for me to write. Things that needed to be said, words that needed shared - speaking the truth in love - words that should be said by me. I attended two different writing conferences. Both of which were totally overwhelming, but extremely encouraging. One focused on writing for Christ, one focused on writing for the world. At the end of it all God showed me something astounding: I did not have to choose one or the other. I could write for Christ, while still writing words for the world to read, because the truth always comes from God. So as I write things focused upon the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives - I am writing for God. And as I write things focused upon the things in the world around me, like newspaper columns and product reviews, I can still be writing for God - because my honesty in writing, and the way in which I interact with those in the world that do not know Him - can be an avenue to share His love.

Does a song ever grab hold of you and become your theme music? Are there times where you feel the struggle just to keep your head above water and you need a lifeline? I've had those times, those years, those theme songs. I believe we are told to worship God with our mind, heart, soul, and strength because these cause all of us to cry out to Him. Whether your theme song for the week is "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" or Toby Mac's "Move," it is a reminder that God is always there - He is our strength and our hope. Is there ever a year in our Christian walk without challenges? I don't think so. Jesus told us we would have trials, but to take heart, because He had overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Two songs became my themes in 2017: Tenth Avenue North's I Have This Hope, and Matthew West's Broken Things. God used these songs to remind me of the hope I will always have in Him, and how He could use even my grief to touch the heart of someone else. 

A Word for 2018

I've read a lot about a word of the year in the past six months or so. As I mentioned before, I was always skeptical. How could I know in advance what God wanted my theme to be for  the year? Or even for a season? I certainly did not want to pick the wrong theme and be working against His will. Then God basically told me to stop. Stop overthinking it. Stop trying to live a different life. Stop trying to be smarter than everyone else or thinking too much and doing nothing. 

Contentment is to be found by living the life He has given me. That means being less judgmental, not fearing the future, and opening my heart wide to the people around me - knowing God can heal any hurt that may come. I have decided to listen, and follow. I am sure there will be days when it is hard to focus on this word, as my stubborn pride will rear its ugly head, or my feelings will get hurt. It may be difficult to write the things I want to write to you this year if I must filter everything through this word, but I know my God is able.

How is it possible God for me to choose to be like Mary and choose to sit at the feet of Jesus? How can I do these things He has put on my heart when there are so many other demands on my time? I cannot. But God can. 

God planted this word for the year in my heart to remind me that I can do nothing on my own, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Phil.4:13)

My word for 2018 is: Love

Christ is love. I know God wants me to be more like Christ. I know I will be following His will when I focus on love. Pray for me would you? It is a challenge that I know I am woefully unprepared for, and yet, I know God sees where it will take me, and He will equip me in His timing - so I look forward to it with joy!